The Logic of a Four Year Old

On a very long car ride today, I had a discussion with my four year old about gum. He wanted a third piece (in less than 10 minutes) and I didn't think it was a good idea. He would not let it go after I listed all the reasons why he could not have another piece. His logic reminded Kelly and me of discussions with religious believers who think they are being rational when they defend their supernatural beliefs. This "discussion" continued for half hour, but I will spare you and summarize.

Fred: It's not fair that Bonnie and Jack have gum. (I believe Jesus Christ is our savior, the son of God sent to redeem us if we only believe in him. The Bible tells me this.)

Me: Actually, you've already had one more piece than they had, so that's not fair, is it? (The only "evidence" you have are bad copies of copies of Bronze Age texts. Those don't seem like valid sources for an entire belief system to me.)

Fred: It's not fair that Bonnie and Jack have gum and I don't. (I believe Jesus Christ is our savior, the son of God sent to redeem us if only we believe in him. The Bible tells me this.)

Me: But you still have the gum in your belly. It's not good to swallow so much gum. (You already said that. You dismiss much of the Bible yourself, how do you choose which parts to believe?)

Fred: I accidentally swallowed it. Both times. I promise I won't swallow it if you give me another piece. (The Bible is written by man, and only inspired by God, so of course you can't take it literally.)

Me: But that's what you said last time. (But how do you decide which parts to believe?)

Fred: It's not fair that Bonnie and Jack have gum and I don't. If you don't give me a piece of gum, I won't like you. (I believe Jesus Christ is our savior, the son of God sent to redeem us if only we believe in him. The Bible tells us this. Faith is a virtue!)

Me: Well I will still love you! (There is no logic whatsoever in anything you are saying, but I still love you.)

Fred: Give me GUM!!! (Jesus is our savior! The Bible tells us so!)

Me: I'm sorry, but you've already had your share of gum, and you can't have any more. (You've already mentioned that. Do you have any reason for your beliefs other than indoctrination?)

Fred: But it's not fair that Bonnie and Jack have gum and I don't. If you don't give me a piece of gum, I will be mad at you. (I believe Jesus Christ is our savior, the son of God sent to redeem us if only we believe in him. The Bible tells us so. Belief is the only option if you don't want to go to Hell. God is loving.)

Me: [No comment.]

And my four year old's final "argument" for receiving a third piece of gum?

Fred: It's not fair that they have gum and I don't! If you don't give me gum, I will fart and not say 'excuse me.'

You know what? I do have faith... in my four year old eventually learning how to argue logically. For now, he's a great source of entertainment, as well as occasional exasperation, such as when we are trapped in a car with him from Toronto to Kentucky.